I think Mickey Mouse's post spells out why it takes some of us longer than others. The fallout can be huge, and if there is a chance of bringing out at least one loved one it is worth it to stay in as long as needed. Personally I am already playing catch up with my wife for some mistakes I've made in the past year... And if there's any hope of waking her up my quitting meetings altogether would likely squash that chance. Plus, then it's public. It will invoke the cult personality of every one of your close friends and family whenever they think of you... Not exactly ideal conditions for waking people up.
We can do so much more damage to the WT from the inside. Personally I go to about 1-2 meetings a month. I work shift work, so people just assume I'm working.
I think we'll all know when the time is right.